Growing up means having more responsibilities; more challenges; more wins; more losses; more heartaches; more laughter; more rainbows and butterflies; more staying in bed on Sunday mornings because the rain is slowing tapping your rooftop and it's soothing.. You get my gist =).

I will be officially 21 in a few days and I've been kinda caught up in my shoebox of memories and I've noticed that I've been through a lot, as I'm sure you guys have too but of course, our shoe box's are very, very dissimilar perhaps you have more or I have more or we have the same amount but of varied experiences.. heh. the point here is that we grow up differently from other people and sometimes it can be bad and sometimes it can be good.. but most of the time it's balanced..

Turning 21 is a very giant leap for I think most people because it can be considered adulthood despite the fact that "age is a social construct". People see you now as being more mature and that they expect you to be independent and to be out there doing what adults typically do, which is to fend for yourself and think about the future..

Sigh..

Now that I've come to that cross-road, I need to do what adults do and actually look into the future and.. think about what I want to do with myself and everything else that I need to drag along with me..

I think the first thing I should and need to do is to leave my shoebox and start with a new one..

Perhaps it's time to start everything fresh; change my perspectives and be open to all the endless possibilities no matter how hard or painful it can be.

Part of growing up is having to let go of your what's happened to make room for what's going to be..

Sigh..

That'll be hard. Considering..

Siti

I've revamped my blog *applause* and i like it =). it's a pretty background. Don't you think so? Very mellow.. like one of those Sunday mornings with the rain pit-pattering outside your window..

sigh..

I've been doing a lot of sighing haven't I?
It could be that I'm a bit depressed..
I am a bit depressed i guess..

It's like, you go through things in life and you tend to sift about in hopes you can finally be happy. But as you sift, you tend to shake too hard and you miss out on the good things and they just disappear just like that and you smack yourself in the head and go "Doh!".. I'm not sure what i'm ranting about..

SIIIIGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Siti

Life has a funny way to balancing itself out..

One minute you are told information that could hurt you.. and the next minute something good is said and it's supposed to make you happy but it doesn't really..

sigh..

Personally i think that we all want to be happy but, like yin and yang, we need to find a balance and in order to achieve this balance life gives us something quiet the opposite and it is how we deal with it that makes us who we are.. and if we are strong enough to cope with what we are presented with then we become that much better as individuals..

another sigh.

I have learned that no matter how many times you climb out of your adversity you are handed with something so much more harder to deal with and it's a little sardonic because, really, how much strength can one person have? how much can one person muster and keep mustering?

Life, you sure are so very, very awesome. Really..

Siti

It's easy to fall in love with people because all we tend to see initially are the perfections.. and when the imperfections arise we tend to take a step back and go, "Hang on. This isn't you," and take more steps back sometimes to the point where that person just looks like a tiny speck in the distance.

The funny thing about being in love with another person, for the most part, is that we tend to oversee their flaws and love them for who they are unconditionally and this is very noble but, you know what? I say we don't oversee their flaws.

We accept them.

We need to learn to accept the fact that with perfection there are also imperfections.. we shouldn't oversee flaws because in doing so we do not learn how to love unconditionally; we would not find out who the real person is behind the facade.

There is a difference between accepting and overseeing from my point of view.

Accepting means take in as a whole. Overseeing means to look what's beyond and the latter shouldn't have to exist because in reality, if we all oversee their flaws then are we truly honest when we say "i love you for you"?

Heh..

We all want the ones we love to love us for who we are.. i believe we have to do the same for them too..

"Do to others what you would have them do to you."

I'm not sure if i'm making sense. It sounds about right in my head.. heh..
Sorry..

Siti

I have a headache.

My whole head feels like exploding.
Nyeh..

Hope you all out there who are still in school are rejoicing in the extra week off.
I know i am =).

Siti

Being fifty.. He was still too young..

May his soul finally find peace. The peace that he has been searching for; the peace that has eluded him for so long..

Here's to one of the best, if not the absolute best artist the world has managed to produce..

Michael Jackson.

I think we are all familiar with this concept: Things change.

And things really do change, sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse..

When it comes down to it it all boils down to how we handle these changes and in turn how it may effect the changes that are yet to come: good or bad?

Sometimes too much of a good thing can be bad. Heh, how ironic is that? In life we search for good things and it turns out that it can be bad for us.. Like, corruption. As humans we are given every opportunity to succeed in life and even the most strongest among the rest of us can falter.

We read about it everyday. It's talked about all the time. The funny thing is that, personally speaking, I believe people go into things to make things better, which is perhaps why the Almighty has bestowed upon them immense power that can make the world a better place yet we hear about them in the media and how they abuse their power.

Again, like I said, when it comes down to it it is how we handle change and how it can lead to other changes: good.. or bad?

Heh. Sorry,. I'm just going through some stuff..

I want to be outside that void, you know? I don't want to be the one who has to sit there and wait for you to mend because it's not fair for me.. because I am here in all honesty, sincerity..

Sigh..

Siti