She remembers sitting in the corridor of the hospital, which gave her the chance to reflect on all the possibilities that could happen. How life could change and throw them in a spiraling turbulence of insecurity and loss.

She remembers that fateful night.

The stars were hiding behind the clouds that decided to shield the twinkling bright lights from the inevitable.

She ran through the hallway and passed a couple who followed her with their gaze. She could feel them penetrating her soul with sorry eyes. They burned, she remembers. How she wished she could stop running and tell them that everything was ok; that nothing was going to happen.

Then she ran like there was no tomorrow.

Seeing her father sitting next to an empty bed made her think that thing's like this happened to other people. It could never happen to them. Always other people.

"And other people are saying this about everyone else," she thought.

No. Everything will be ok. It has to be.

As she sat in the corridor, she felt as if she was standing on a high-wall like one of those circus people balancing themselves on a tight-rope. Except that there was no net that would break her fall.

Minutes seemed like hours and the doctors have kept them in the dark.

"50-50," he said with a smug look on his face as if he could determine other peoples fate. As if he was God himself. Bullshit.

And then she fell from that wall.

The hope he had given her was just a waste of time and emotions. But, she bought it. She accepted that hope and as she stood there watching the lifeless body of the person she loved she felt as if "hope" was nothing but a mere illusion the world hands out so easily - as if "hope" was nothing but words that helps conceal reality. "Hope" is nothing more than a figment of our imaginations, she thought. The word that is used by higher powers and those who controlled the world who want us to fallback on this pathetic excuse for something to believe in.

Never again, she thought.

Sigh..

2 years later, here she is now. Allowing her mind to wander the corridors on that fateful night. Thinking about the things she could have done or said to help save her.

She looked out her window and was absorbed by the twinkling night-lights, precariously placed onto the black velvet sheet of space. There were there now..as if they understood how she felt.

Sigh..


Siti