it was pretty hard for me to write this but i felt like i owed it to you..

it's been two years since you've been gone but the pain is still real. it still feels like you're right here..but you aren't..and this, this is the hardest part we've all had to deal with.

the pain of you not being here is still raw like it just happened yesterday..i remember running down the corridors to get to you and praying that God wouldn't take you away..but it didn't work. God loves you more than we ever could. and it's true what they say "you don't know how good you have it until it's gone". and when you were around, we had it perfect..

i've had so many regrets ever since we've lost you; i never did tell you that i love you and when i think about it i can't help myself but cry..you deserved better and i'm sorry for having caused you so much grief..

i still remember how great you were. you were always, always there for me; for us. you've always believed that there is good in every single person and this made you the greatest person i know..

i remember that one night..you were busy with your work but you still had time for me because i needed someone to talk to..you've always been selfless. you were always generous with your time and you were so patient..you understood..

i still remember what happened that fateful day..hanging on hopes that were thread thin..it was hard to understand at first, why you had to leave..it was hard to see the doctors shake their heads and offering us their condolences..it was hard to realise that you weren't going to be around anymore..it was hard to live without you..and it still is hard waking up most mornings and asking yourself "why? why did it have to happen?"

i remember praying so hard so that God wouldn't take you away..i kept denying the fact that you weren't going to leave us..

and now, 2 years later..it still hurts because you aren't here to watch us grow up..because we do want you here to share every single important day in our lives..you meant so much to us that not having you here feels as if there's this..bottomless pit..nothing could ever fill this emptiness that we feel..and we miss you. we really do miss you..

In loving memory of Hajah Hairati DP Haji Muhammad.