At the end of the day, just before we all go to bed at night, we think of one person and from here, as we drift off and shut down.. we ask ourselves, "Is this one person worth it?"

The next morning the answer will either be, "Of course" or "No. Not today".

Sometimes it's a little bit of both and your at the edge of your bed, pulling on your hair and going, "WHHHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!!!"

Heh.

The thing I'm trying to convey is a little hard to say because there are no words to express how I feel and that's hard because writing is the only medium I find helpful in releasing all this.. suppressed whatever, you know?

Gahh.. Sigh..

It's like, feeling your heartbreaking piece by piece and realising that you need to walk away but, you just don't have the strength to.. because you can't let your heart break any faster.. so, you wait for it to break slowly to the point you become engulfed in fatigue..

But then again, you need to ask yourself, "how long will it take to heal?".

Sigh.

Siti

Spent sungkai with my old friends back in PDS last night and it was great..

It's been awhile and am really grateful that we've managed to finally catch up.

Missed you.

Siti

Sigh (again with the sighing! heh).

For those who know the battle I've been going through knows that deep down inside I am raw in a sense that I feel so incomplete..

Have you ever come across someone so perfect that it is so imperfect?

There is never such a thing as perfection, that I know and it is thoroughly highlighted in this battle between commonsense allied with self-respect and rationalisation versus temptation, desire and love.

It's a little pathetic to acknowledge that I am the type who favours love over everything else. In short, I'm hard-headed and seriously? It'll be the death of me..

Sigh..

The rational mind can never outweigh the hearts' desires let alone wrestle with one's inner turmoils and romantic challenges..

Sigh.

Siti

P.S

If you happen to come across this:

I love you

I love the people I have arpund me mostly because they teach me the most important live lessons through their wisdom, stories, experiences and their thougts.

One important lesson in particular I've learned so far is to live in the present.

You're prolly going, "Oh, she hasn't tried that?". In all honesty? I thought I was but I've been kidding myself.

I belive that one needs to accept the fact that tomorrow will come, unless ofcourse you die in your sleep but that's a different story. Heh. Moving on..

Tomorrow will come in spite of today being the most horrid day ever. Tomorrow will come and present you with so many other possibilities and all you need to do is trust that tomorrow will not be the same as today, let go of the past, live now and don't worry about the future.

So, what do you do?

Make the most out of what you have, hope and pray. After all, good things come to those who wait, yes? And I think, from here, people develop their characters be it the one who can't wait and wants it NOW or the one who says, "ok, let's wait.. and we shall see."

Personally, I'd rather be the latter and develop the strongest tolerance you can't imagine because patience is a vritue.. and it helps a lot when you find yourself having to deal with those who strum your strings just a little to hard (you know who I'm talking about. Heh).

Anyway, to conclude, I still love life to the fullest. I thank God for today and I pray for a better tomorrow without having to worry about what is to come because I trust that whatever will come will be worth going through..

Love ya'll.

Siti

It's been awhile since I've said anything proper.

So here goes.

Result's just came out and you know, ain't all bad. There's always November so, here's to us! We'll all be alright =).

Amal's going off to UK in less than a month and we've been catching up, as in a whole bunch of us so that's been fun.

Puasa has been fun too although it's been hard to, you know, lose weight considering the food that most of us pile up at say, around 6ish? Heh.. gluttony gets the best of all of us.

The best I can say is syukur, really =).

Siti

How shall I start..

Sigh.. (always with the sighing).

it's hard loving someone.. and it's sometimes so much more harder to know that they love you too. of course it's all good and dandy and such but sometimes it's hard because you become afraid of a lot of things..

one thing in particular, for my part, is the fear of losing this one particular person and it's a little hard because he's sorta everything i've been looking for, you know? I guess it's just right guy, wrong person; right person wrong timing that kinda thing.. but I really do, so very much, am head over heels for him..

If you ever stumble upon this, know that I so very much love you. (ugh. the mushyness! hahaha).

Siti

Gah.

Heh.

Have a good weekend all =).

Siti